We down in SLUMPTOWN now, y'all. It's only natural; there's a few too many cooks in the kitchen at the moment, and most of those cooks are essentially the exact same person. Fortunately, the producers of The Bachelorette have left us a few wonderful gifts in this episode -- gifts made of human tears and masterful film editing.

Let us sing the final stanza of the song of Chad, and be done with it. Who will fill the power vacuum left by Chad's bulky, protein-infused frame? The answer is, of course: All of them, in their own way. All the boys are Chad, now.

Breathe in deep the fresh Pennsylvania air, and bellow out the first stanza of the Song of Chad. We're covering a very special two-episode chunk of The Bachelorette; a chunk that promised us lots and lots of man-on-man punching. How much man-on-man punching? We don't want to spoil it for you, but literally none.