The mid-2000s were a challenging time for all of us, particularly those who were enrolled in reality television programs like Dating in the Dark. This is a show in which strangers are trapped together in a cave, and then tasked with smooching their way out. Join us for another week of erudite discussion on this next-level skeleton-evacuating experience.

Holy shit, what a trash fire. We're sorry we made anyone watch this. Because, like, DAMN. Every minute of this thing was worst than the previous minute, and this bad boy started out with a pretty rough first minute, so. WOOF.

This week, we're hungrily tearing into the new Ellen DeGeneres/Drew Barrymore collabo First Dates, in which a bunch of folks go on First Dates with varying degrees of success. It's a breath of fresh air, y'all.

We're fresh off the MaxFunDrive, and ... well, okay, "fresh" maybe isn't the right word. We are shambling husks of our former selves, full stop. But that's not going to stop us from finishing up our recap of the very first season of The Bachelorette!